Story of the Children When the Orphanage Shut Down!

Just received today an email from Buntheon, one of the young adults at the orphanage ...

The situation is terrible for these children ...
We continue our fundraising to be back ASAP and help save these children!

Your support means a lot to us! Thank you all!

"Hello , LULU, this is Bonthoeurn. how are you? i am in a scared condition. i want to reply some your questions of whom came to the orphanage. On 3rd of July 2013 it was around 9am morning i was in the office playing piano with sister Rose and there were some higher people and cars at the outside door. i was getting stuck. i locked the door for them. they got in and blamed us for not ready for their coming, but they didn't tell us the date or time they might come.Me and Rose was in a circle discussion they read some documents for us with some points saying that the orphanage is closed from now on and i was out of words, getting stuck and so afraid. After a while mum chanthea came back from the market,wondering what was going on, she looked pile and lost her words. She was called in to the discussion as well. we all were questioned with heart jumping up deeply. It was nothing to be said , very scary.
Some of the officers from ministry of interior , Ministry of social works, municipality, chief of commune, chief of village and other two organization officers. After questioning, Rithty arrived, he came back from Kompong Cham province. he came to deal with them and i go out. not so long, the children all came back from school. Those officers immediately forced me and all the kids leave and take the van without allowing us to have lunch. some of the children was in school uniform, without clothes exchange they were forced to packed up all the their materials and left the orphanage.Some of them tried to escaped,Just like Beltie students and ran to hugg Rose and mum Chanthea crying, very, very very very very scared.!!!! Everything was in crazy panic situation. Everyone was crying and hugged each other. They didn't want to leave. They screamed and shouted for help,but Rithy or Chanthea could do nothing because they were threatened, just standing crying and see the children their beloved sons and daughters leave. If you could imagine of that time what would you feel!!!!!!!!!!
we need much and many helpers. who can help us in this condition????????????????.After that me and all the kids were taken to different places, without knowing where to go. and i didn't know more information about Rithy. It hurt the kids emotion so much , because they have never been separated or faced this time before. we all are too young to understand everything. Just leaving with sorrows and and felt stuck , afraid , fear, need help. After a nightmare sleep at other place, me and some other adults insisted those people to leave there and tried to contact to our family to come assure us and took us out of there. Now i am with Rithy to stand by him if i can comfort him some.but for most children still stay in some places and i don't know how they are now. i feel so pitiful and painful . do you feel like me??????????? there is no justice in Cambodia , i shouted out. they didn't think of the kids.we are trying to find solutions now to what we can do. Khmer kill Khmer for money, corruption................Still more things and more to solve .Rithy will be summoned to the court. Thank you to let me write message and thank you to read my message, i hope you will understand. learn about Cambodia society. i hate this society so much!!!!!!! i will tell you more details when you come. and i don't know what things would be tomorrow.*:(( crying This will be in my memory and eveyone's memory forever. Does it sound like Khmer Rouge regime.?To me , absolutely it is."



Please help us send help out there as soon as possible to 

help the kids get back home! Donations are greatly

 appreciated find out how at Changeforchildren-vail.org

Inspire Hope Trip Reflection 2013

Sitting down after two weeks of being in Cambodia has given me a lot of time to self reflect and really think, dream, and pray about every single moment and memory that occurred there. The hardest part is to think of what we accomplished while there for the kids and what we learned ourselves. What we learned there will always stay in our hearts and hopefully change our every day life to be someone bigger and better, after discovering what we saw on our adventure. For the children's sake it is hard to take into consideration of what we accomplished and how it possibly wasn't just flushed down the drain. Only several days after we left the whole orphanage was shut down! The government came to do their biannual check up to make sure the organization was legitimate and actually supporting the kids in a correct way. Leaving the orphanage I have never seen the kids so happy and grateful for life with three meals a day and school to also attend every day. But apparently the government didn't agree they saw it in a different way and thought the kids weren't taken care of.  I am scared and shaken up writing this knowing deep down inside the kids are gone I most likely will never see,hear, or feel the love of all these children again. I am heartbroken; just sitting here all the way across the world and not having the chance to save these children one by one because I can't do anything I haven't already done all the way on the other side of the globe.

As if the life of all these children haven't been traumatic enough. Coming from a home where their parents most likely abused, or abandoned them and didn't know how to care for them and either they left and ran or their parents may have even died, gave the children severe attachment issues. For an even more traumatic event to occur of being separated from 30 other brothers and sisters and a blessed home and the opportunity to attend school is even harder to soothe those attachement issues. The most heart wrenching  part is since they were left on the street by the officials they are probably going right back to the only other home they know with their parents who don't deserve to have such extremely talented and amazing kids they don't care for. If they really don't have family the worst part is they could be going back on the street into prostitution or drugs and gang life. Hopefully which some of them did do is they looked for new orphanages or safe places to be and stay at. A day does not go by of when I don't think of all the kids and I pray for them every day to stay close to God ad know this is only a sharp turn in the path of life God has planned for them.

Going back to think of what we accomplished on our trip has been determined. We gave the children hope. Hope, to realize what amazing life they can have and the special talents they all possess. How to take advantage of that talent God blessed them with and use it to become the best they can possibly be. I saw how strongly they connected and believed in God. I pray they live close to God through this rough past week they had and can see that God isn't abandoning them he is just making their relationship stronger. If they can stay close to God throughout this turmoil then I believe they can accomplish anything in this whole world. No task could ever be too big for them to complete if they just keep praying and trying hard to stay close to God. I believe they learned from us to always have fun while learning and trying difficult things. To try their best when maybe they don't understand the situation or task to be done. And if they stay close to God throughout it all they can complete anything out there.

On this trip I grew as a person and believer of God more than I could of ever imagined. I knew what all of the children had been through and how close they still were to God even after that bad of situations had been presented to them in their life time. I knew that if they could face that hard of challenges and still be the most caring and loving people I've ever met, then no challenge was too hard for me. I now can grasp a greater appreciation for the life I live. Thinking of challenging times in my life so far can't even compare to the challenges these children have faced. I then grow such a great appreciation for the family I have; the shelter, food, and love I am granted with every day. These are the simple things in life people don't realize are taken for granted of every day. Just the simple security and safety of having a roof over our heads, and abundant amounts of food, and just the simple hugs and kisses your greeted with every day are taken for granted so much. Not even just in Cambodia possibly the neighbors next to you are waiting for the day they don't worry how they are going to survive this month on little to no money. It is time to check the life you have now do you have the simple comfort of three meals a day, including snacks and treats, or clothes to be warn and show all the new styles, and a simple roof over your head that keeps you warm or dry in colder seasons and shade as a place to cool of in the summers? Do you have even just one person in the world that loves you more than you could ever imagine? If you checked of just a couple of these than you are lucky enough. If you strongly believe in God he will give you just enough to survive. It may be the bare minimum but it is better than nothing and if you still strongly believe in him than you'll know he will always be there taking care of you and won't leave your side and can help you get out of the hard times. This trip was a reality check to how everyone has something in their life they could change to really make a difference in how they act and appreciate things. I am truly grateful for everything God has blessed me with. This trip also made me realize I will not stop helping underprivileged kids until the day I die. This journey of helping others has just started!

Feeling Inspired By Hope

             Inspired is the one word to describe the feeling I had the other night at CHA. When we arrived it was quiet at first with all the lights off, we had figured the kids had fallen asleep early and I had no idea I was about to experience one of the most inspiring moments in my life. As the gate unlocked a wave of music and singing over came my ears. It was the sweetest noise I’ve ever heard. Not sweet as in good, sweet as in the adorable voices all of the kids had even the tone deaf high-pitched ones. Pon Leu and one other boy his age (15) were playing the guitars while all the others were singing beautiful worship songs. Of course they were in Khmer and I had no idea what the song words were, but I felt overpowered by joy and love.  I knew God had brought us together as one and the language barrier between us was broken by dance and song for the Lord we all love. Seeing how much each child there loved God so much I knew I loved these kids even more because I wanted to follow in their steps. The steps they took to come from nothing, and can even be considered filth to rise above and bloom as beautiful flowers through God and their faith. I knew my faith needed some tightening and strengthening after seeing all these children rise above through their faith and really love life and start to see and understand why they were brought into this Earth and see their talents and their potential. I know God has a great plan for all these children and knowing they came through the hard times in their life and still believe and trust in God is just overpowering my body with chills and is a motive for me to be stronger in my faith!

            I came here for the mission of first spreading my love hands on but also helping the kids realize through God they have amazing talents and have the potential to do and be whoever or whatever they want to be. Last night gave me the sense that they already realize maybe not their specific talents or what they are suppose to do in their life time but know that God has a plan for them and they are ready for what it brings. Heck, most people don’t realize what they are suppose to do on Earth until they are elder. My plan is to help the children here in Cambodia everywhere realize their special talents God blessed them with and how to take advantage of their talents to become something in their life and get out of the slums. I know that each and every kid at CHA is amazing and has the potential to become the career person every child dreams of being. While helping the kids here it opened my eyes more of being connected to God and realizing I was put on this Earth to spread my unconditional love through God’s word and know that God has a grand mission for me while I am on Earth. I help the kids realize their potential as much as they help me realize mine.  I am sad that I only have one more day here in Cambodia but it will be well spent and I will learn greatly from this and hope the children at CHA feel the same. 

First Goodbyes, But So Much More To Come

Hope Children Hope is an orphanage full of crazy talented and beautiful children. It is very small but the love is still bigger than ever imaginable. All 16 kids can read and speak English well. All are talented in the arts, rather it is drawing, or playing instruments, singing or dancing. One named Hang, is an inspiration to me and has imprinted on me for a life time. I can't wait to see what he shall become as he grows older and I can watch and see his growth. The first night walking into Hope Children Hope, the urgency of the kids to come greet us was exciting to see and made me excited and anxious to see what the day would bring. However, Hang at first was very slow to open up and greet us until I went to introduce myself and talk with him. As soon as he realized we only brought good intentions he was glad we were there and REALLY opened up. He liked to show us off all his talents, and trust me there are many. The story books we brought them he liked to read aloud to all the children and his English was spot on. Then he played his guitar for us while singing. He was also very good at karate and tried to use his moves on me but it was hard for him because no one can take me down... ! He isn't the only child there who is full of talents. Last night as we arrived many of the older boys were outside on electric guitars with all the kids rocking out. It was the project manager's, who lives in Germany, birthday. The kids were more than happy to see birthday cake and soda and even more happy to see us covered in them. I was covered head to toe in icing and cake, and the kids thought it was the funniest thing and the bugs everywhere were even more than happy to smell the sweetness on me as well! The party fun had to come to an end unfortunately that meant goodbye possibly forever if some of the kids leave. This goodbye was hard but I was able to hold the tears from dripping down my face and slowly wiped them from my eyes trying not to be obvious. As I held all the kids tight I knew God has a grand plan for their life time and I see all the great talents God granted them with. I pray all the kids realize the talents God granted them and they don't take them for granite and really use their talents for their advantage to get a better life. I hope I helped all these children realize their potential and stay off the streets, I can't wait to see their progress soon.

It feels so heart warming to finally have the chance to spend a FULL day at CHA. The kids were more than happy to see us and finally get to play with us more than just a couple of hours. The day went by fantastically but way too fast. I can't believe I only have two more full days with my loves. The days will be full of fun and play while we all learn important facts about ourselves as we help the kids' potential shine through and they help us rid our impurities of the past to move on and appreciate life. All the kids are so loving and you could never imagine someone from the past they lived be so kind and caring after that hardship. They teach me and hopefully all the volunteers to move on from our past in full force and to forgive and forget knowing God only has greatness planned for you ahead. I see the beauty in all the kid's lives and even though they don't have a lot they have each other, God, and the desire and want to succeed in life. I use their life as a demonstration for me and hope to only learn from their experiences and live a great life just full of compassion and love even when the times get hard. All the kids I have gotten to know so close throughout this trip will stay with me forever and I can't wait to see what lies ahead on this great voyage among Cambodia.

Half Way Gone

Seeing as it is already day 5; I try to look back and see what we have accomplished. Though I know it is a lot (providing more beds, a trash can,cleaning, the list goes on and on... and of course our love) I'm starting to realize how 2 weeks could never be enough time. Even 2 months, a year, could never be enough time to accomplish the needs of every child and where they live throughout all three orphanages we have and will visit. Already only having two visits to the orphanages, unbreakable bonds have started to grow. I can see it not only in myself but all three other volunteers as well. I remember three days ago when we met Deborah, a handicapped two year old at CHA, she has small but good movement on the ground but still very weak and frail. As she turned to her stomach she saw my mom walk in; she tilted her head and back up (in a superman pose) and smiled with all the muscles in her body she can use to move towards her. My mom rubbed her and made her muscles relaxed will Deborah looked at her in awe. Tears started to come to my eyes out of pure happiness as I witnessed Deborah and my mom immediately connect. I feel the same about the others here and myself as well, we all connect with kids and it is a spectacular sight to see. I love all these kids so much and I already know the good byes will be painful and hard. Luckily for us we still have half way more to go. I still have more time to grow even bigger bonds and fulfil the kids' needs more! I am excited to see what it shall bring and can't wait to spread my love even more . These kids are my life and I won't stop helping them until even past my death as this organization carries on as a legacy!

These past two days have been loads of fun at CHA, we play soccer and sports from the time we step in to when we leave! Yes it is extremely fun to play, but you have to understand it feels like 80% humidity out here, you're just sweating sitting there. But who could say no to "sister, sister, play!" as their cute little faces are screaming it at you. The trip has been full of interesting adventures seeing as we are the "bekrong" (foreigners) here. Every where you go or every step you take some ones eyes are watching you. As I sit up here typing this in the guest house, one visitor, I am assuming friends with the workers, took a video on his phone of my sister walking up the stairs and down to our room. Yeah, it can get a little creepy at times!  Or just today we went to the National Museum and the monks walking around kept asking us to take pictures with them, one even asked if we could take one with his Grandma, so for the most part it is funny and not creepy we're just famous. The culture here is just different in that they try super hard to be as white as they can and have bleach in everything like their lotions and things; while we try to get the best tan of the summer as if it is a contest. The days have gone by too fast playing and working with the kids, I can literally see time flying. Hopefully the rest of the trip brings nothing more than happiness and love.

Unlocked

6/15/13
The gates open and all the memories flush back into my mind remembering every little detail from two years ago. From each and every single kid's name and the special moments we spent in this or that specific spot; the opening gate, the building, the rooms and all the beautiful paintings are still there in the back of my mind. The shyness of all the children hiding in their rooms waiting for the ok that we are good and not bad, sort of stings a little. I wasn't shocked that no one remembered me specifically but the fact that they got hurt so bad they can't even be welcoming or trust worthy of anyone anymore. Long story short many volunteers went to CHA and started many bad rumors getting the police involved and almost causing it to shut down. I shouldn't be shocked that Rithey (the director of CHA) is very hesitant when it comes to people just walking in off the streets to "help" because when it happened last time the kids were scarred for life from the terror it brought upon their lives. As we warm to Rithey we have the chance to play some soccer with the boys and one girl who actually played quite well; Sry Teng. After touring the orphanage we went around trying to find what was needed to be fixed or purchased. We found they needed more mattresses because five were sleeping on the floor. So right away we go on the hunt for the mattresses needed and find them purchase them and deliver them right away. Hoping the fact that we just spent all this money is going to help Rithey see we are there to help not to turn them in and break down the orphanage any more. Tomorrow we will return and can only pray they let us in and accept our warm welcoming so we can be there for the remainder of our trip.

6/16/13

When I was here three years ago I grew a very close bond with four young children three of whom are sisters and one who is just a friend. Visal, Cheetah, Witchika, and Tida, stole my heart two years ago with their beautifully loud and sassy attitudes.... Unfortunately when everything went bad at CHA they moved out to the villages into another orphanage, Hope Children Hope. The trip out there started out quite impressive with us getting on a cargo ship while still sitting in our Tuk-Tuk and watching about ten cars and dozens of motos just line up in the small cargo ship, leaving their engines on while we cross the rivers to get to the village side. It was a site to see and fumes probably not to good to be around. Hope Children Hope, is well off with children that are all very smart in their own way but all know how to speak and read English. One boy knew how to play the guitar, read perfectly in English, and was an amazing artist. It was amazing how smart all the children were.The play time with the kids was great while we sat inside during the torrential down pour that occurs each and every day. We learned some new karate moves, patty cake games, and best of all some Khmer dance moves from the director and all the kids. The kids were amazingly bright and full of personality, I can't wait to visit them again.

However, today was not all fun and games. My Aunt who came Friday left today she just came up for a short weekend visit with her friend from Aussie. My Aunt has been helping us with fundraising tremendously down there and is coming next April with other moms and friends around Australia to come and volunteer to teach English. I could not thank her enough for the support she has given us and the effort she has put in to keep this organization up and running. However it is sad she had to leave so I will miss her greatly but have more great people I will be meeting and creating new memories with. I can't wait for what this trip has to bring and I hope while I'm here I can accomplish my task to fill children's hearts with love and show them their potential.

Jitters 6/15/13

I can't explain the anxious feeling in my stomach right now. Maybe it is the fact that it is 4 in the morning or the food I ate last night. Most likely it is the day I am about to face, in only a couple of hours I will be headed back to CHA; the place where this whole journey and mission started. I have dreamt about this day for two years now and why is it that my gut is above my head and I am just shaky talking about this? It is the fact that just last night Nalin (Use to work at CHA) was doing everything in her will power to try to convince us to not visit CHA. That blah blah blah had occurred since the last time I was there and this has changed to that. None of that matters to me those kids I left holding in my arms two years ago have created a bond with me that will last a life time.  I promised myself and all the children there I would come back. So today I will be headed back down the streets I have remembered in the back of my head since the day I left. To finally turn around the corner and see the bright colored gates that are now gray and dull, the kids that are no longer smiling, and worst of all a gate that is locked, that I must learn to unlock through trust and unconditional love.